‘Hey presto world, I have my vagina, let the pleasure begin.’

There is currently a lack of practical information and advice available for trans women (and trans men) who have undergone realignment surgery. In this extract from ‘Queer Sex,’ Juno Roche reflects on how she felt, emotionally and physically, after her realignment surgery, and how the after-care involved affected her relationship with her new ‘neo-vagina.’ 

When I had my realignment surgery, I sat back and somehow expected my vagina to do all the talking, all the walking, all the work and all of the flirting. I imagined, ‘Hey presto world, I have my vagina, let the pleasure begin.’ I naïvely thought that somehow my sexuality, my desire and my pleasure would be located in my neo-vagina, my vagina rather wonderfully fashioned from the bits and pieces I was keen to let go of – my penis flesh now made sense. I imagined that my new vagina would have an inbuilt sense of self and purpose, like a microchip embedded just under sensual skin. I genuinely believed that after surgery, after the healing, there would be no more work to do. Surely my neo-vagina would take over from there on and do her stuff.

Of course it didn’t happen like that. It’s just flesh, penis and scrotum refashioned – different tissues sewn together to create a rather beautiful neo-vagina that resembles a cis vagina, but actually it works entirely differently. My vagina is crafted from penile and scrotal skin but has entirely different qualities and drawbacks than a cis-vagina. It is beautiful and it feels unique but it never came with a handbook or a set of illustrated and labelled diagrams. Its construction confused me. I felt like ‘badly prepared trans woman’.

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‘My LGBT history’ – Sabrina Symington’s queerstory turning point

Sabrina Symington reflects on her LGBT history, and shares a pivotal moment in her past that influenced the way she lives her life now.

The turning point in my own Queerstory happened back when I used to teach martial arts professionally – something I experienced both in my old life, and after I transitioned.

In my old life, there was a kid among my students who was exploring their gender. Nothing revolutionary – just a change of name and attitude. Dealing with a case of “the genders” myself, I supported them every chance I could, and we became friends.

When I left that job to live and work in Thailand, my young friend cried and said “Why do you have to go away? You’re the best teacher here!”

While I was away, I somewhat unexpectedly began my own gender exploration and started transitioning to be my true self. Over there I could change myself in a state of safety, anonymity. Tucked away from the world I knew and that knew [old] me, and returning home unrecognizable to those who knew me before.

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Tackling homophobia in school? You need to start with your own language

Former teacher Jonathan Charlesworth explains how our confidence to provide support to someone ‘coming out’ or to stop, then prevent, homophobic name-calling or bullying all starts with having self-assurance about the words we use.

If you’re a school teacher, college tutor or university lecturer eager to support your pupils or students regarding sexual orientation matters, and keen to challenge homophobia or biphobia, may I suggest the best place to start is with vocabulary. I’ve worked for over thirty years in Education: as a teacher and successively as the Executive Director of Educational Action Challenging Homophobia. EACH was established to affirm LGBT+ people and help employers and institutions meet their legal and social responsibilities regarding homophobic, biphobic or transphobic bullying or harassment through training, consultancy and resources.

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Non-binary inclusion in the workplace – an interview

Companies are becoming more aware of the need to include non-binary people in the workplace, to attract a diverse workforce and create an inclusive environment and brand. This new book from J Fernandez and Sarah Gibson, both of whom identify as non-binary, provides an ideal introduction to including non-binary workers in your business, and presents practical solutions to basic workplace issues this group faces. We spoke to the authors on the launch of their new book.

To start us off, when did the idea for Gender Diversity and Non-Binary Inclusion in the Workplace originate?

We’ve both been working in equality and diversity for some time and we see employers coming to us and asking for help and advice because they simply haven’t been equipped to deal with non-binary inclusion yet. The business case for inclusion has been growing over the years and when we were approached by JKP we saw it as an excellent opportunity to engage with employers in a new fashion. Now is a great time for businesses to get up to speed on the issues and put themselves ahead of the curve.

We know that there isn’t much research about non-binary people’s experiences at work or many comprehensive guides on the topic, and we wanted to put something accessible together to help those without much experience grasp this. There are guides to help employers understand trans issues more widely, but in most cases, the specific problems faced by non-binary people simply haven’t been addressed in any depth.

We thought the book was a great idea, so decided to go ahead with a long process of research into different areas, helped by Jos Twist and with input from GI and the Scottish Trans Alliance. The areas we looked at ranged from how non-binary people are affected by dress codes, to what barriers non-binary people face during job seeking, to experiences of hate crime at work.

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Are you looking for books and resources to support your work with gender variant individuals?

 

We publish a range of books for therapists, counsellors and healthcare practitioners who work with gender variant individuals. From informative guides to personal memoirs, our books offer support and promote greater understanding of gender identity and expression. This collection includes books that address themes of gender identity, sexuality, relationships, transitioning and mental health. For more information on new books and to receive a copy of our new catalogue, join our mailing list here

The Voice Book for Trans and Non-Binary People

Matthew Mills and Gillie Stoneham

Written by two specialist speech and language therapists, this book explains how voice and communication therapy can help transgender and non-binary people to find their authentic voice. It gives a thorough account of the process, from understanding the vocal mechanism through to assimilating new vocal skills and new vocal identity into everyday situations, and includes exercises to change pitch, resonance and intonation. Each chapter features insider accounts from trans and gender diverse individuals who have explored or are exploring voice and communication related to their gender expression, describing key aspects of their experience of creating and maintaining a voice that feels true to them.

This pithy, practical guide is a treasure trove of rare and wonderful gems – particularly the exercises for trans men and non-binary people, often neglected but vulnerable to crippling self-consciousness and even phobia around speaking. Clinicians and clients alike, I unreservedly recommend The Voice Book to anyone looking to feminise, masculinise, neutralise or just explore the potential of voice.’ – Dr Stuart Lorimer, Consultant Psychiatrist

Who is this book for? Speech and language therapists, healthcare practitioners, counsellors, gender variant individuals

 

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Exclusive: Read Charlie Craggs’ letter from To My Trans Sisters

Charlie Craggs is an award-winning trans activist…and now author, apparently.

She is the founder of Nail Transphobia and has been travelling all over the UK nailing transphobia since 2013 and has just gone global, taking her campaign stateside in 2017. She uses the proceeds from her campaign to run free self-defence classes for trans and non-binary femmes. Charlie topped the Observer’s New Radicals list of social innovators in Britain, was awarded a Marie Claire Future Shaper Award in 2017 and has been called one of the most influential and inspirational LGBTQ people in the UK by both The Guardian and the Independent. She has starred in campaigns for Selfridges, the Victoria and Albert Museum in London, and Stonewall, and has written and spoken about trans issues on the news (BBC, ITV and Sky), for numerous publications (Vogue, Dazed and Confused and The Guardian) and at the Houses of Parliament.

Read Charlie’s letter from her new book, To My Trans Sisters, here.

For more information on the book or to buy a copy, click here.

Why not join our mailing list for more news and updates from our authors, and free catalogues. You may unsubscribe at any time. 

Are you a boy or a girl? Yes! Alex Iantaffi shares his journey to gender identity

 

Hello! Alex Iantaffi here, one of the authors of How to Understand Your Gender: A practical guide for exploring who you are published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers. Our publisher asked Meg-John Barker and I to write a blog post each about our own gender journeys, so here I am.

Are you a boy or a girl? Yes!

When I started to come out as trans masculine (that is someone assigned female at birth and presenting and identifying somewhere in the masculine region of the gender landscape), some people felt this made complete sense to them and some were befuddled. I empathized with the befuddled, even as I was being hurt by it. After all, it had taken me over three decades to even figure out that there were options beyond what I had been assigned to be at birth! But let’s back up a little.

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Self-understanding: Guaranteed! Meg-John’s gender identity journey

This is Meg-John Barker here. I’m one of the authors of the new JKP book How to Understand Your Gender. JKP asked me to write a blog post about how I came to understand my own gender identity, so here I am.

Self-understanding: Guaranteed!

When I shared a pic of the book cover on Facebook one of my friends asked whether it came with a guarantee that the reader would understand their gender by the end of the book! They pointed out that they’d already read and learnt rather a lot about this topic and that certainly hadn’t left them with some kind of clear simple understanding of their own gender.

I had to agree. ‘Complex’ might well be one of the words Alex and I use most in the book, because gender is certainly that! As with our sexuality, relationship patterns, sense of self, inner emotional world, and so much else about being human, understanding our genders is probably going to be a lifetime journey for all of us. And it’s made even more of an ongoing process by the fact that both the wider cultural understandings of gender, and our own experiences of it, change over time.

So, no the book won’t necessarily leave you understanding your gender in a simple ‘Eureka, I’m a ___!’ kind of way. What it will help you to understand is how your wider world views gender, how you came to experience your gender in the way you do today within this, and what options are available to you as you take your next steps on your gender path.

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Have you ever questioned your gender identity?

‘How To Understand Your Gender’ is the ultimate gender identity bible. Here, we share some of the lived experiences of the many different gender diverse people who have contributed to the book. Do you recognise yourself in any of these accounts? 

 

Sex, gender, and sexuality

‘I just couldn’t figure it out. I was born female, I am attracted to men, but I never felt comfortable wearing skirts, makeup, or spending time with girls, like I felt I was supposed to do. People kept assuming I was a lesbian, and even I wondered about it for some time. Eventually I realised that’s just who I was. I am a masculine woman, attracted to men.’

‘People kept wanting me to choose, but I just couldn’t. I’ve always been sexually attracted to women and femininity, while feeling much more relaxed with, and emotionally close to masculine people, regardless of their gender. I now identify as a bisexual, homoromantic trans man.’

‘Everyone assumes I’m gay because they think I’m “soft” and “artistic” for a man. I guess my mannerisms can be more effeminate than those of most guys. However, I am straight through and through. I just can’t be bothered with proving my masculinity in a way other people want me to.’

‘I love everything about femininity: the clothes, makeup, the fierce feminist history. I am just a proud femme who also happens to be a lesbian. Unfortunately, often people assume I’m straight, even at lesbian events. They also seem surprised at my job as a mechanical engineer. I always liked pulling things apart, figuring out how they work, and putting them back together, or even making them better!’

‘I’ve never felt at home in dresses or lipsticks. I always wanted to play with boys. Eventually I found other people like me and who were into me. I am a stud and proud of who I am.’

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