‘Eat your peas or you won’t get your ice cream!’: Five reasons why withholding dessert will backfire

Article by Jo Cormack, author of Helping Children Develop a Positive Relationship with Food.

When people ask me which question I get asked the most by parents of picky eaters, they are often surprised at the answer. It isn’t: ‘how can I get my child to eat more veggies?’ or even: ‘how can I get my child to try new foods?’ It is: ‘how should I handle dessert?’

For the last few decades – at least in the UK where I live – it has been standard practice in many families, for parents to tell children that they need to eat all or most of their main course before they ‘earn’ their dessert .

When you are already concerned about the lack of variety in your child’s diet, making dessert conditional can feel like good parenting because it is a way (in the short term) of potentially increasing children’s food intake.

It can work, for sure. If your goal is getting your child to eat three more peas than they might otherwise have done,  holding the ice cream hostage could possibly make that happen.

Instead of going for short term gain,  I want to argue that withholding dessert can actually be harmful to your child’s long term relationship with food.  Here are five reasons why: Continue reading

Anorexia and Obesity: Two of a Kind?

anorexia Dr Nicola Davies is a health psychologist, counsellor, and writer specialising in raising awareness about health, wellbeing and weight loss. She is a member of the British Psychological Society and the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. Nicola also keeps a health psychology blog and runs an online forum for counsellors. She is the author of I Can Beat Obesity! and I Can Beat Anorexia! and the co-author of the Eating Disorder Recovery Handbook.

While generally regarded as two separate, very different issues, anorexia and obesity actually share many similarities – not only in terms of risk factors, but also psychological, behavioural, cognitive, genetic, and neuropsychological similarities.

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Top 4 Steps to Permanent Weight Loss

Dr Nicola Davies is a health psychologist, counsellor, and writer specialising in raising awareness about health, wellbeing and weight loss. She is a member of the British Psychological Society and the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. Nicola also keeps a health psychology blog and runs an online forum for counsellors. She is the author of I Can Beat Obesity! and I Can Beat Anorexia! and the co-author of the Eating Disorder Recovery Handbook.

There are many people who struggle to lose weight, but more people who struggle to keep it off. There are countless fads designed to draw in people seeking honest help with their weight struggles, only to palm them off with expensive quick fixes that offer short-term rather than long-term results. These results are short-term because you are being sold a product or regime that doesn’t take into consideration your individual needs and motivations. Weight loss is a personal and individual journey – a journey toward self-care. Here are four steps to help you along the way.

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Eating Disorder Recovery – The Benefits of a Holistic Approach

Eating DisorderDr. Nicola Davies, co-author of Eating Disorder Recovery Handbook, discusses the benefits of a holistic approach to recovery and what questions you need to answer before beginning your journey.

Many people suffer from eating disorders and often they do so in secret. Living with an eating disorder like anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating disorder can be an extremely isolating experience, which can deplete your self-esteem and confidence, distort your concept of health and body image, and make you forget what is truly important in life.

Recognising that you have a problem with an eating disorder is an important first step, followed closely by the acknowledgement that you need help and you need to open up about the problem to someone you trust. In recovering from an eating disorder, you will need to go through several stages, which can take a lot of time and energy. Rates of recovery will be different for everyone and there may be times you will return to unhealthy eating and dieting behaviours. It’s easy to perceive this as a sign of failure and lose confidence in moving forward, but it’s important to keep focused on positive change.

So, what does it take to achieve recovery from an eating disorder? Although eating disorders are linked with unhealthy eating, dieting and exercise practices, overcoming them takes a whole lot more than changing what you eat and normalising your weight. Eating disorders often spring from a very deep emotional pain and are associated with other conditions such as depression, personality disorders, and obsessive behaviours. This means that long lasting recovery from an eating disorder involves the strict re-alignment of your entire life – dealing with the past, living in the present, and navigating the future.

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Grandparenting a Child with Severe Allergies by JKP author Charlotte E. Thompson, M.D.

Tips and Advice for Grandparents from JKP author Charlotte E. Thompson.

Grandparents who have a grandchild with severe allergies
tell me they live in fear of having the child eat something
to which their grandchild is very allergic. Even when grandparents carefully check the labels on everything a grandchild eats, there can always be an ingredient that is not listed. Serving simple foods with known ingredients can lessen the anxiety. As the child grows older, he or she can be taught to ask questions about foods and learn what is safe and what is not safe to eat. The child must also be taught not to trade foods with friends.

Taking an allergic grandchild on a trip can be a real problem, but there are ways to get help. The U.S. travel agency, Grandtravel, has pamphlets they can send and they will also plan a trip to keep a grandchild safe from harmful foods. The Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Network can help with pamphlets and information, and their website is www.foodallergy.org. Eating in a restaurant can be a problem. Calling ahead of time to a restaurant or stopping in to talk to the owner about a grandchild’s food allergies can be helpful.

PREVENTIVE MEASURES

A child with severe allergies should always wear a bracelet, such as those than can be purchased from MedicAlert and similar companies. The bracelets list the child’s allergies and give a number to call for information. All family members should be aware of the allergies and know what to do in an emergency. Babysitters and child-care staff should also be alerted, as should teachers, and other people with whom a child spends time. If a child goes off to camp, careful investigation is needed about the medical care and the closest medical facilities. It would also be wise to speak with the camp director or nurse.

Epinephrine can be lifesaving if a child has a severe allergic reaction and comes in the form of an Epi-Pen in the United States. Similar products are available worldwide, I am sure. An Epi-Pen should be available in the home, grandmother’s purse, the car, at school, and at a relative’s or a good friend’s house, if the grandchild spends a lot of time there. Expiration dates need to be checked to sure they are always current. Grandparents who are fearful of giving an injection can take an orange or grapefruit to their doctor’s office and get the nurse to show them how to give injections.

Any child with severe allergies should have seen a pediatric allergist and be under his or her supervision and care. Often allergy injections given over a long period of time can help decrease the severity of the allergy. Sometimes, too, the doctor can find out that foods thought to cause a problem were not dangerous after all. The foods most responsible for allergic reactions are: milk, eggs, peanuts, fish, shellfish, soy, wheat, cashews, and almonds.  Keeping a food diary for a few days could help sort out what is causing a problem.

It is important, too, that general health needs are not overlooked. Every child needs a yearly complete physical examination, as well as a complete blood count (CBC), urinalysis, and tuberculin skin test. Often these are overlooked.

It is comforting to know that allergies usually lessen with age, but caution is always advised. It is important that grandparents treat allergies in a matter-of-fact way, so their own anxiety does not make the grandchild anxious.

Charlotte E. Thompson, M.D. is a pediatrician and specialist in children’s muscle diseases. She founded and directed the Center for Handicapped Children in San Francisco for 23 years and has worked as a consultant for six pediatric neuromuscular programs. She is a mother of two and a grandmother and lives in California. She is the author of Grandparenting a Child with Special Needs, published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers.

C’mon everybody – get writing!

Vanessa Rogers is the author of Working with Young Women, Working with Young Men, Let’s Talk Relationships, 101 Things to Do on the Street amongst others. In this article she gives her writing tips for aspiring authors. And, if you’re feeling inspired feel free to send in your proposals to post@jkp.com


They say that there is a book in all of us, and judging from the number of emails and Tweets I get from people in the youth work and social education field inspired to write their own, it would certainly seem to be true. So this is a collective response to those of you who have asked me for ideas of how to start writing, and to share my personal experiences of writing a book. I hope it is useful – but please remember this is only my way, which I made up as I stumbled along the way.

When I start a new resource book it is because the subject holds a compelling fascination for me. For example, Working with Young Women (Jessica Kingsley Publishers ISBN 9781849050951) came out of lots of girls’ groups that I was facilitating at the time. The young women came to the group because they had been identified as at risk of offending and aggressive behaviour, but the more I got to know them the more I thought that a lot of their behaviour was actually a response to the bad relationships they had with their peers, parents and boy/girlfriends. It seemed to me that their anger and aggression was a coping mechanism that until now had worked for them. So, this made me question how young women can build a sense of self, gain confidence and assertiveness, look at the role models they have and their aspirations for life – in a way that is interesting, non-judgemental and fun. After all, through the group work I was basically asking them to change their existing coping behaviour, (which whilst not necessarily socially acceptable to all, gave them the kudos and ‘respect’ they sought), to take a chance of being vulnerable and exploring things that hurt to find a better way with me. But it seemed that this was the foundation for everything else – e.g. if you value yourself and your body you are more likely to respect it and look after it.

So from here, as for every other book I have written, I devised a series of questions that I wanted to answer. These help me keep focused and distill the essence of what I am trying to do.

After that, I spend about 3 months researching the topic. I do this by reading around the subject and trawling the Internet for ethical and correct data and statistics, but also by speaking with other practitioners and as many young people, or in the example above as many young women, as I can, to ask my questions and test out some of my theories. By now I usually have at least one box file filled with clippings and stuff, as well as my trusty notebook (I always have at least one hardback notebook on the go) filled with points to remember and ideas for games, quizzes or activities.

One thing; all of my session plans have to be tried out with young people before I will include them. For me, this part is one of the rules of my work to keep it ethical and grounded – it has to have been tried and tested and I have to know that young people will learn from it and more importantly enjoy doing so.

As I write constantly this means that I often have ideas stashed on my computer that are developed later when the opportunity presents itself. I try my best to include lots of learning styles in the activities and this might mean that I write the same learning outcomes three times, with three different ideas for delivering them. So, as I try them out with young people I use the one that goes best and dump the rest. I also ask young people to give me feedback as the book comes together, which I value as they don’t hold back if they think it won’t work!

Once this is done, I stick my main points on bits of paper around my desk and tell everyone that I am going to be ‘writing’. To my family this means that I am likely to be distracted, a bit bad tempered and the dinners will be rubbish for a while – but the good news is that I will be in the house for days on end and easily tempted to buy take-aways!! To my friends it means that if I do see them I am probably going to bore them witless by obsessing over my blossoming (or not) book. All training and other work is put on hold. And then – I write it.

I tend to write ‘all over’ my books – meaning that I might write part of the intro, then get a bit stuck so move on to one of the later chapters.  It may look chaotic but it isn’t – more like putting a jigsaw together, because by this stage I know exactly what I want to write and how it will look at the end. I tend to really get into this bit so write day and night, with no adherence to office hours – I actually prefer working through the night so it is pretty usual for me to be writing between 2 and 5 a.m.

Once it is done – which usually takes about 7 days end to end – I put it away for at least 3 days before getting it out and editing / doing the final writing.

Then it is off to Jessica Kingsley Publishers …… and I miss it like mad …… get a bit sad, like at the end of any relationship …… do any edits or re-writes asked of me by the editors and proof readers ….. and leave the printers to get on with it. In my head it is over.

I try and build a break in at this point so that I can have fun with friends and family and shake off the topic that has been all consuming for what might have been up to a year. And then, just when I think that I have had enough of writing, something sparks my interest – and the whole cycle begins again.

I hope this helps – but as I say all writers are different and I am sure you will find your own way of working. My only advice would be, write for you and choose a subject you feel passionate about – if you aren’t at the start, you definitely won’t be at the end! My very best wishes and good luck with it – let me know how you get on.

 

In Search of Youth Work by JKP author Vanessa Rogers

An interesting and thought provoking article from JKP author, Vanessa Rogers on what it is to be a youth worker today. Vanessa is the author of a number of titles on working with young people including, Working with Young Women, Working with Young Men, Let’s Talk Relationships, 101 Things to Do on the Street, and new from JKP the Little Books on Alcohol, Drugs and Tobacco Set.


What is Youth Work?

Today I realised that I have been a youth worker for over 15 years, yet I still struggle to explain exactly what that means, especially to someone outside of the profession. It is not a simple answer and I have even been known to say, ‘social worker’ in certain social settings just because it is easier.

The irony is not lost on me; that I am prepared to betray my profession, even though I feel so passionately about it, because I can’t be bothered to explain what I do and that it involves more than playing pool and sorting out squabbles about which track to play next on the iPod in the youth club. Explaining detached youth work is even harder, and has even been met with snorts of laughter at the thought of being paid to wander the streets talking to unknown young people. ‘But what is the point?’ is a constant refrain.

It has not always been so. There was a time not that long ago when it would be hard for me not to weigh in with my views. In fact, many of my ex-students could stand testament to the fact that, ‘what is youth work?’ is one of my favourite assignment titles, and the 500 words produced in response are a constant source of interest and heated debate.

Then it dawned on me that perhaps the sinking heart I get whenever someone asks me what I do for a living is not merely personal apathy, but because I have had the conversation one too many times. The sense of justifying what youth work is, why it matters and the unique place it has in supporting young people – not only amongst friends, family and strangers but also with youth workers and other professionals – has become habitual. I realised that I am a bit tired of the struggle and don’t want to spend time any more time analysing the process at a cost of actually doing it less.

It hasn’t always been so difficult, although I am in no way harping back to some mythical golden age of youth work. I am simply pointing out that if you had asked me 15 years ago what I did my answer would have been pretty easy – an area youth worker for the Youth & Community Service responsible for developing girls work, work with young parents and managing a large and busy youth wing on the site of a school in an area described as ‘deprived’. So far, so clear.

The role of a Youth Worker

Fast forward and my role, but not my professional title, has changed so many times that writing a CV can be a daunting thing. Terminology for the young people, or ‘client group’, has changed from young people ‘at risk’ through ‘vulnerable’ to ‘targeted’; youth services have dropped the ‘ & community’ tag and been variously part of the education, leisure, Connexions and social care departments.

Responsibilities have changed to include meeting parents, undertaking social care assessments, creating community profiles and measuring work by the number of accredited outcomes achieved.
What constitutes ‘youth work’ has changed so many times that it can now be tagged on to virtually any service that works with young people.

But is this a good or bad thing? Is the increase in those using traditional youth work skills to engage with young people something to be celebrated or lamented? All I know is that ‘youth work’ is a notoriously difficult term to describe, and it isn’t getting any easier. The task of trying to find a pithy one-liner to sum up the collective aims of so many different clubs, societies and detached projects is almost impossible.

Perhaps it is that so many people now describe themselves as ‘youth workers’, whilst working in areas more traditionally associated with social workers or youth justice? I have even spoken with police officers that say they do ‘youth work’. Really? Are the professional boundaries so completely enmeshed? Please note this isn’t about professional qualifications, or even the lack of them, more a questioning of how the ethos of voluntary participation and the gradual process of building positive relationships and engaging and empowering young people fits within a law and order or social care framework.

The ethos at the heart of Youth Work

Historically, youth work did not develop just to ‘keep people off the streets’ or to provide aimless amusement, it has always offered social and political education in an informal environment. Good youth work may look as if it just ‘happens’ but the success of it actually depends on good planning, clear aims and measurable outcomes. This ethos should be at the heart of all youth work – especially detached projects. Surely an exciting detached project that motivates young people to get involved should result in more, not less, youths on the street? And that should constitute success?

Put simply, providing young people with a ‘good time’ is not enough. Effective youth work should offer young people the opportunity to meet, socialise, develop new skills, explore the world around them and learn to question and challenge what they see effectively. Detached projects should not be about forcing young people off the streets and away from adult eyes, but more about building trust and developing interesting projects that are relevant to their needs, reflecting the things of importance to them. Which is unlikely to be the same as the media focus on demonizing young people as part of a lawless counter-culture.

As I see it the need to build two-way respect between young people and other members of their community is paramount – after all it is hard to encourage young people to take up their responsibilities and become active citizens if they are treated like social outcasts. Why would you want to be part of something that clearly doesn’t want you?

Perhaps the answer is purely financial. In the struggle to chase funding and secure projects we have been forced to chase the pound, rather than offer what young people truly want. Or maybe as numbers dwindle in traditional old-style youth clubs what’s on offer is simply outdated and no longer meets the needs of teenagers. In that case let’s stop hanging on to the solutions of the past and try new ideas.

Listening to Young People

Young people can be innovative and visionary, with energy and enthusiasm to shape and change the world. To do this they need to find ways to get their voices heard and be able to see that their participation in things like youth councils, forums and consultations actually makes a difference. To be honest, as an adult I am happy to give my opinion on things that matter to me but I get disheartened and then disinterested if nothing ever comes of it and I don’t receive any feedback. Too often I think young people are let down because although they are told that their opinions count, when it comes to money and budgets, they don’t. Participation has to be more than a paper exercise or a way to ‘tick boxes’.

Reclaiming Youth Work

So I think it is time for youth workers to stand up and reclaim youth work by celebrating how different it is to other work with young people. It should be seen as a whole, not as a useful pick’n’mix to compliment other services, and defined in our own terms – whether that is through a Youth Work Academy or some other collective process – before someone else does it for us.

In another 15 years time I don’t want to still be ducking the question, ‘what do you do for a living?’ – I want to be able to say (still with pride), ‘I am a youth worker’, and for that to mean something.

VIDEO: Kate Reynolds’ Top Tips for Planning Parties for Young Children on the Autism Spectrum

Having first-hand experience of the stress that parties and other social gatherings can bring for children with Autism Spectrum Conditions – and their parents – mum and author Kate Reynolds shares some essential Dos and Don’ts for parents and other party hosts, guests and planners from her new much-needed handbook, Party Planning for Children and Teens on the Autism Spectrum.

See an example of the visual aid party invitation Kate mentions in the video!


Kate E. Reynolds worked for 18 years in various locations in the UK for the National Health Service, as a Registered General Nurse, counsellor, trainer of health professionals and health promotion consultant. When her son was diagnosed with severe autism disorder in 2005, she kept extensive diaries about his progress. She is passionate about supporting parents and caregivers with practical information about autism spectrum disorders. Kate lives in Wiltshire, UK, with her two children, Francesca and Jude.

Copyright © Jessica Kingsley Publishers 2012.

VIDEO: Rudy Simone’s 22 Things a Woman with Asperger’s Syndrome Wants Her Partner to Know

Rudy Simone is on a mission to prevent AS/non-spectrum relationships from breaking down because of a lack of information. Check out this video to find out more and for a great overview of her latest JKP book, 22 Things a Woman with Asperger’s Syndrome Wants Her Partner to Know.

In her latest book, Aspergirls author Rudy Simone covers 22 common areas of confusion for someone dating a female with AS and includes advice from her own experience and from other partners in real relationships. She talks with humour and honesty about the quirks and sensitivities that you may come across when getting to know your partner. All the pivotal relationship landmarks are discussed, including the first date, sex, and even having children.

6 Myths about Panic Attacks – by former panic sufferer, Dr. Sandra Scheinbaum

By Dr. Sandra Scheinbaum, a licensed clinical psychologist, board-certified senior fellow in biofeedback, certified yoga instructor, nutrition coach, and the Director of Feed Your Mind Wellness Programs. A former panic sufferer, Dr. Scheinbaum has practiced mind-body medicine for over 30 years, successfully teaching hundreds of clients to overcome panic.

She is the author of the new book, How to Give Clients the Skills to Stop Panic Attacks. Here, she shares some common myths* about panic attacks.


Don’t Forget about the Myths

Along with a hopeful message regarding recovery, it’s important to address the myths surrounding panic. A panic episode may be frightening, but it’s not dangerous. Use the myth-busters below as needed.

Myth #1: Panic Can Cause a Heart Attack, Heart Failure , or Cardiac Arrest.
If you have heart disease, an electrocardiogram (EKG) detects noticeable electrical changes. During a panic attack, your heart beats faster. That’s all.

Myth #2: Panic Leads to Cessation of Breathing or Suffocation.
A panic attack will not cause you to stop breathing or suffocate. Under stress, chest and neck muscles tighten, which limits breathing capacity. But don’t worry, the brain has a built-in reflex mechanism that forces you to breathe if you’re not getting enough oxygen. You’ll automatically gasp and take a deep breath long before reaching the point where you could pass out from a lack of oxygen. Even if you did pass out, you would immediately start breathing again.

Myth #3: Panic Leads to Fainting.
You may be feeling light-headed because blood circulation to the brain is reduced, but a panic attack won’t cause you to faint.

Myth #4: Panic Causes Loss of Balance and Falls.
A panic attack may cause you to feel dizzy because the stress response may be affecting the inner ear. But panic cannot cause you to lose your balance. I understand you feel “weak in the knees.” That’s because the adrenaline surging through your body causes blood to accumulate in your leg muscles. The good news is the legs don’t lose strength, and you won’t fall over or be unable to walk.

Myth #5: Panic Means I’m “Going Crazy”.
You’re breathing quickly during a panic attack, which reduces blood supply to the brain and causes constriction of blood vessels. The result: feeling disoriented. Although it certainly feels like an out-of-body experience, you can’t “go crazy” during a panic attack or have what used to be referred to as a “nervous breakdown.” In fact, you’re perfectly capable of thinking and functioning normally because these sensations are meant to protect you. There’s no evidence that psychotic conditions, such as schizophrenia, stem from panic attacks. We don’t see visions, hear voices, or become delusional during a panic attack.

Myth #6: Panic Leads to Loss of Control.
A panic attack won’t cause you to “lose control” or act in a bizarre way. You won’t burst out screaming or harm yourself. It may seem as if you’re “losing it,” but the opposite occurs: all senses reach a heightened state of alertness in order to protect you.


*Adapted from Chapter 1: Could This Be Panic?

For information, tools and exercises about how you can help clients prevent and abort panic attacks through lifestyle change and mind-body relaxation, pick up a copy of How to Give Clients the Skills to Stop Panic Attacks or check out Dr. Scheinbaum’s website.

Copyright © Jessica Kingsley Publishers 2012.