Our bodies’ hidden strengths – Resilience and love

This blog was written by Hidden Strength’s Children’s Series co-author C.C. Alicia Hu. The books are available November 21, 2017 for therapeutic use with children ages 4-10 who have experienced trauma or a frightening situation. Read more about each title and pre-order below:

How Little Coyote Found His Secret Strength

Bomji and Spotty’s Frightening Adventure

How Sprinkle the Pig Escaped the River of Tears

by C.C. Alicia Hu

Before we can say “no,” our legs kick and set boundaries.

Before we can say “more,” our hands pull and grab for what we need.

Reclaiming our bodies’ hidden strengths empowers all of us.

Nevertheless, in our modern society, we are often disconnected from our bodies. We turn our body-mind into a machine, like a “car” or a “computer,” so we can control or manage our self for performance enhancement. Maybe we “perform” well, yet, we pay a price.

In the field of psychiatry and psychotherapy, for a long time, we labeled many of the body’s innate defense strategies as “symptoms” or “problems” – our capacity to disconnect and dull the pain, a symptom of “dissociation.” Our ability to quiver and shake to discharge the muscle intensity is a sign of weakness or anxiety.

Bring our bodies’ hidden strengths to enhance our resilience

In the Hidden Strengths Therapeutic Storybooks, three intertwined stories and four major animal characters show how our bodies’ possess the hidden strengths to protect our self. In addition, three adult-like characters demonstrate how to provide companionship that won’t overwhelm the major animal characters’ vulnerable nervous system that resulted from traumatic stress.

In each book, after the therapeutic story, there are two sections designed to provide structural prompts for adults to engage in dialogue and exploration with the child. This “expressive phase” is the key to facilitating the child in communicating their own feelings and creating their own stories. What makes our books unique is that we include embodied play activities to help the child process the stories on the basic sensory-motor level.

Using the metaphorical animal characters for teens and adults

These stories are not only therapeutic tools for children ages 4 to 10. These stories can also be used as metaphors to communicate with teens and adults.

Last week, I was presenting part of the story, “Bomji and Spotty’s Frightening Adventure” at a local grassroots, peer-support recovery center. Adult audiences in recovery from mental illness and substance abuse intuitively got the idea that, inside, we are Bomji the Rabbit, who tend to freeze, as well as Spotty the Cat, who tends to fight.

One participant shared that “sit on ready” is an important coping skill in African American culture. The capacity to be vigilant without moving helped her to survive her childhood.

The metaphorical animal characters made it easy for teens and adults to develop compassion toward their inner child. As children, we oftentimes act without thinking like Spotty the Cat. We are still and invisible to avoid danger like Bomji the Rabbit. We cry like Sprinkle the Pig and we overwhelm our caregivers. We submit like Wimpy the Coyote in order to fly under the radar.

Love: self-compassion toward our hidden strengths

From children to teens to adults, one key element in recovery is to cultivate self-compassion. In the Hidden Strengths Therapeutic Storybooks, we hope to help all readers embrace their bodies’ hidden strengths as a way to enhance self-compassion.

Once, I shared a draft of Bomji the Rabbit and Spotty the Cat with a Vietnam veteran who still suffered from the shame of freezing and wanting to run away in a major battle. In reality, he successfully executed his duty; however, he had a hard time forgiving the “weak” part of him. Understanding that motionless defense (e.g., freeze and collapse) is just as natural and valuable as active defense (e.g., fight and flight) brought him a tremendous sense of relief.

Another time, I shared the same story with a teen girl who engaged in self-cutting as a way to cope with inner turbulence. She was able to identify how she also froze when her external environment became too overwhelming and out of control. She was then able to find her own metaphor for her own fearful, vulnerable part without engaging in blaming.

Helping the reader to accept all the different parts of themselves is what we want these books to achieve, through revelation of the development of self-compassion. Before we can accept our angry fighting part as well as our frozen fearful part, it is helpful if we start seeing these natural capacities as our bodies’ hidden strengths. The act of self-compassion includes recognizing the diverse, creative survival strategies in our bodies. Yes, we are fundamentally resilient, even when we are young and small. Our bodies have always possessed these hidden strengths!

For more information, author events, and to follow the Hidden Strengths Series, check out the authors’ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AnneWestcottandAliciaHu/

 

 

 

 

30 Years of Social Change: read the foreword by Jessica Kingsley

30 Years of Social Change

Published to celebrate the 30th anniversary of Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 30 Years of Social Change gathers together over 30 leading thinkers from diverse disciplines – from autism specialists and social workers through to trans rights activists and complementary therapists – to provide a thoughtful account of how their field of expertise has changed over the past 30 years, and how they see it evolving in the future.

Here is Jessica Kingsley’s foreword to the collection:

“Thirty years is an arbitrary period – a bit more than a generation, a bit less than a working lifetime. This small book marks 30 years of publishing here at JKP, in and around the social and behavioural sciences, with the increasingly explicit goal of helping to create positive social change. Continue reading

Say a proper goodbye: a guide by Ilse Sand

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Formerly a pastor for the little parish of Djursland in Denmark, Isle Sand is now a psychotherapist and, more particularly, an author. Having written and published Highly Sensitive People in an Insensitive World, Come Closer, Tools for Helpful Souls and The Emotional Compass, she provides a free downloadable guide on how to say a proper goodbye through necessary work to enable you to reconcile with your relations and yourself. 

“Many problems arise because of broken relationships where no one said a proper goodbye. It could be a former partner, family member, friend or colleague that has passed away, or that you have parted ways with over a disagreement. You might not be fully aware of how much former relationships fill your mind.

It is hard to say goodbye to a person that has made you feel loved and that you have loved in return. It can be even harder to part with a relation where there were many ambivalent emotions involved. The same way you can find it hard to leave a meal before you are completely full, it can prove particularly difficult to say goodbye to a relationship, where you were never completely satisfied. Many people suffer from low self-esteem for years following a divorce or break up that they are not completely over.

Are you emotionally over a loved one?

What should you do if find it hard to let go?”

Click here for your downloadable guide to saying goodbye by Ilse Sand


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How has adoption changed professionally in the past 30 years?

30 years adoptionBestselling author of Creating Loving Attachments and clinical psychologist Kim Golding reflects upon the major changes in the world of adoption over the past 30 years and looks towards the future. Her article is taken from 30 Years of Social Change which gathers together over 30 leading thinkers from diverse disciplines to reflect upon how their fields of expertise have evolved during those years.

The year 1987 was life-changing for me. I was a relatively newly qualified clinical psychologist and was embarking on motherhood. The birth of my son was a long way removed from the world of adoption and fostering but, unbeknown to me at the time, this latter world was on the threshold of great change.

It would be another decade before I took on the responsibility alongside colleagues to develop a support service for carers of children living in and adopted from care, but this service would be shaped by changes that were already starting. The 30 years during which my son has grown into an  adult,  and Jessica  Kingsley Publishers  has become a leading publisher in literature focused on adoption and  fostering,  have  coincided  with  a  period  of intense scrutiny, research and change within the world of fostering and adoption.

Continue reading

Stop imposing masculine stereotypes on sensitive boys

sensitive boysBetsy de Thierry talks about her her new book, The Simple Guide to Sensitive Boys, and discusses the need for society to stop imposing male stereotypes upon them about how they should behave.

“The creative mind is wired with the ability to feel with great depth and passion. Without good strategies for managing this hypersensitivity, instead of creativity the result can be a plunge into the emotional depths.”[1]

Being male today seems to be complicated. We recognise the statistics that demonstrate the mental health struggle for many males in adulthood, and yet many environments are not recognising the challenges around being male in childhood. The link is important because I believe that we could prevent a lot of the mental health problems presenting themselves if we were able to meet the emotional needs of men at a young age. Continue reading

Creative extensions of the safe place exercise

creativeKaren Treisman, author of A Therapeutic Treasure Box for Working with Children and Adolescents with Developmental Trauma: Creative Techniques and Activities, is a specialist clinical psychologist, trainer, and author. She is also the Director of Safe Hands and Thinking Minds Training and Consultancy services. In this blog post, she explores the different ways a therapist can create a safe place for children.

One of the common tools in a therapist’s tool box is the imaginary safe place exercise. This can be a great way to support children, adolescents, parents, and ourselves to have an emotional safe haven and an inner place of safety.

Continue reading

How many eyes do you have? Asks ex-forensic psychologist

badFor decades, the psychological assessment and treatment of offenders has run on invalid and untested programmes. In his book, Bad Psychology, Robert A. Forde exposes the current ineffectiveness of forensic psychology that has for too long been maintained by individual and commercial vested interests, resulting in dangerous prisoners being released on parole, and low risk prisoners being denied it, wasting enormous amounts of public money. Robert A. Forde is a retired consultant forensic psychologist and prison psychologist.

How many eyes do you have?

I’m betting the answer to that question is no more than two. However, there is a traditional joke that psychologists have a “third eye” which enables them to see into people’s minds. Pretty obviously, they don’t. Perhaps less obviously, this means that they only have the same powers of observation as anyone else. Much of my recent writing in psychology has examined the implications of this simple statement.

Continue reading

10 ways to help your partner if they have MS

help

Julia Segal, author of The Trouble with Illness, has written an article for Open Door, the MS Trust Newsletter on ways to help your partner if they have MS.

Relationships are full of ups and downs – it’s a fact of life. But when your partner has a long-term health condition like MS, there may be some extra bumps in the road for you both to navigate. Here are a few ways you can support your loved one along the way.

Click here to read her article

What are the benefits of Memory Cafés in dementia care? – Extract

benefits Memory Cafés dementia care extract

Outlining the enhancing dementia care programme developed by the editors, this book looks at the activities trialed within care homes and gives evidence of their success.

The activities presented in this book have been designed to provide meaningful engagement for residents, while respecting each individual resident’s readiness to engage and participate. This approach to person-centred care has proven to be extremely effective: activities such as Namaste Care and Memory Cafés have engaged residents who had previously not responded to interventions, demonstrably showing an increase in their levels of well-being.

In this extract, Memory Cafés Educating and Involving Residents, Relatives and Friends, Jason Corrigan-Charlesworth explores the benefits and the areas to consider when looking at developing the role of a Memory Café as part of the care home environment.

 

To read the extract click here

 

For more information and to buy a copy visit our website.

For more information about our latest releases, upcoming titles and events follow us on Twitter @JKPDementia or join our mailing list. 

Video – What are continuing bonds and how can they be used to help bereaved parents through the grieving process?

Bereaved Parents and their Continuing BondsIn this video Catherine Seigal talks to Sue Nuttall about her book Bereaved Parents and their Continuing Bonds. For bereaved parents the development of a continuing bond with the child who has died is a key element in their grieving and in how they manage the future. Using her experience of working in a children’s hospital as a counsellor with bereaved parents, the author looks at how continuing bonds are formed, what facilitates and sustains them and what can undermine them. Using the words and experiences of these parents, and drawing on current theories of continuing bonds, this book offers insight into the many and varied ways grief is experienced and expressed and what is helpful and unhelpful. It is an original and valuable guide for both professionals and parents.

Watch the video on our YouTube channel.

Bereaved Parents and their Continuing Bonds: Love After Death by Catherine Seigal is out now. Order your copy from www.jkp.com.

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