Browse our latest collection of new and bestselling titles in counselling and psychotherapy

Here are our new and bestselling titles in counselling and psychotherapy. For more information on any of the books inside, simply click the title or cover image to view the full book page.

Starving our Anxiety Gremlins

Kate Collins-Donnelly; therapist, consultant, and author of Starving the Anxiety Gremlin, talks about the rise of anxiety in children. In this article, Kate discusses what can be done to help young people struggling with anxieties and shares a letter from one of the young people she has worked with on her experiences of overcoming problems caused by anxiety.

Collins-Donnell_Starving-the-An_978-1-84905-341-9_colourjpg-web

Anxiety is one of the most common mental health disorders in the UK and worldwide. The UK ONS Child and Adolescent Mental Health Survey published in 2004[1] estimated that 290,000 children and young people nationally had an anxiety disorder, which equated to 2.2% of 5 to 10 year olds and 4.4% of 11-16 year olds. Leading anxiety charity, Anxiety UK, estimate that one in six 16-24 year olds have suffered from an anxiety disorder and five pupils in an average school class will have experienced anxiety[2]. And results form an NSPCC survey published in 2004[3] revealed that 34% of the young people studied felt that they were always worrying about something, with 11% feeling extremely worried.

We still don’t know the true prevalence rates amongst national and global populations as, like many other mental health disorders, anxiety disorders remain under-reported and under-diagnosed. However, what is clear is that anxiety is a common cause of distress for children and young people today.

Just like for adults, anxiety can come in different shapes and sizes for children and young people too – with some children and young people getting anxious about a variety of things and others only experiencing anxiety in response to very specific situations. Common worries for children and young people include school work, exams, friendships, family circumstances, health, death, bullying, body image, and much more. And children and young people can experience anything from normal occasional worries, fears and nerves to long-lasting and severe anxiety disorders that include generalised anxiety disorder, simple and complex phobias, panic disorder, separation anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder and health anxiety.

Not only is anxiety common and varied, it also has the potential to be debilitating, especially when experienced on a frequent basis. This is partly because anxiety can bring such a wide range of cognitive, physical, emotional and behavioural symptoms with it, including concentration problems, obsessive thoughts, headaches, racing heartbeat, panic attacks, loss of confidence, avoidance of situations and procrastination to name a few. And it is important to remember that these symptoms can vary from young person to young person. It is also because anxiety can have impacts on all aspects of a young person’s life, including their studies, work, relationships, physical health, mental health and emotional wellbeing, future prospects, motivation and much more.

But thankfully, by learning a range of cognitive behavioural strategies and techniques, children and young people can learn to manage their anxiety and bring it under control. And that is why I wrote Starving the Anxiety Gremlin to highlight to children and young people that by learning how to think and act differently they could starve their Anxiety Gremlins for good! You see, if we all starve our Anxiety Gremlins of their favourite food – our anxiety – they’ll shrink and shrivel away!

And here is a letter from one young person that I worked with to show starving our Anxiety Gremlins really is possible! Well done Chloe! You are an inspiration!

Dear Reader,

When I was six I developed a worry.  At my birthday party I was quite badly sick and from then on I was terrified of vomiting. My worry caused panic attacks, which made me shake and cry; and gave me a runny tummy and nausea, which made me even more anxious. I thought that there was no escape from my worry. I wasn’t even sure what life would be like without it. I found it difficult to be left alone at school. I didn’t like to leave the house because I was scared of being sick or needing the toilet and not knowing where it was.  My worry was taking over my life. I didn’t know how to make it stop and my family didn’t know how to help me.

We went to see the doctor and then some people who are trained to help children with worries.   At first trying to get over my fear of sickness felt like an impossible task but slowly I found ways of fighting my worry. I learned to breathe slowly when I felt panicky and to turn my scary thoughts into sensible ones. Keeping a worry diary and telling my family and friends when I was having a particularly bad day helped too. Unfortunately none of this works over night, but if you follow the steps in Starving the Anxiety Gremlin you will learn to manage your worries. With help, I began to have less panic attacks and suddenly life didn’t feel like this huge burden. One day, it will feel like that for you too.

When I was little I didn’t know of anyone else who was going through similar things so I felt very alone. I thought I was weird. But I wasn’t weird and I definitely wasn’t alone. Lots of people have a worry; just like me, just like you. I know it may feel like there is no way out but one day things will seem a lot easier and life will seem fun again. Never forget that you are strong enough to cope with your worry and that you have the most fantastic brain to help you overcome it.

I am now 17. I still worry sometimes because everyone does but I don’t worry a lot about being sick anymore and I’ve stopped having panic attacks. If you are feeling worried and scared it is really important that you tell people how you are feeling so they can help you. I promise it gets better. Remember that you are not alone in how you feel, you aren’t weird and that most of all you are incredibly brave!

Love from your fellow worrier,

Chloe xxx 

You can give Kate’s CBT techniques a try for yourself by downloading free evaluation sheets from her workbooks Starving the Anxiety GremlinStarving the Stress Gremlin and Starving the Anger Gremlin. Download the free evaluation sheets here.
You might also want to try these free activities on building a positive body image, taken from Kate’s book Banish Your Body Image Thief, and encouraging healthy self esteem, taken from Banish Your Self-Esteem Thief.
Starving the Anxiety Gremlin has been shortlisted for the School Library Association Information Book Award 2014. Voting commences on June 18th 2014. If you’d like to find out more about the awards or request a pack for your school, visit the website here.


[1] Green, H., McGinnity, A., Meltzer, H., Ford, T. and Goodman, R. (2005) Mental Health of Children and Young People in Great Britain 2004. London: Office

[2] Anxiety UK, Children and Young People With Anxiety: A Guide for Parents and Carers, available at: www.anxietyuk.org.uk

[3] NSPCC (2004) Someone to Turn To? Who Can Children and Young People Trust

When They are Worried and Need to Talk? London: NSPCC.

Helping young people to build a positive body image

Check out this free activity from bestselling author Kate Collins-Donnelly’s upcoming book Banish Your Body Image Thief. Collins-Donnell_Banish-Your-Bod_978-1-84905-463-8_colourjpg-print

This activity will help young people to be more aware of, and to understand, their own body image and how to develop this in a healthy way. Examples of poems, drawings and songs from other young people will help them get started and show that they are not alone in how they feel.

Download the activity here

Read more about Banish Your Body Image Thief

Read more about Banish Your Self-Esteem Thief, also coming soon from Kate Collins-Donnelly.

Browse our latest collection of new and bestselling titles in social work and social care.

Here are our new and bestselling titles in social work and social care. For more information on any of the books inside, simply click the title or cover image to view the full book page.

 

 

Encourage young people to build healthy self-esteem

Collins-Donnell_Banish-Your-Sel_978-1-84905-462-1_colourjpg-webCheck out this free activity, taken from bestselling author Kate Collins-Donnelly’s forthcoming book Banish Your Self-Esteem Thief.

The activity will help young people understand more about their own self-esteem and how to develop this in a healthy, positive way. Examples of poems, drawings and songs by other young people will help to get them started and show that they are not alone in how they feel.

Download the activity here

Read more about Banish Your Self-Esteem Thief

Read more about Banish Your Body Image Thief, also coming soon from Kate Collins-Donnelly.

Adopting a balanced view

Child and family psychologist and JKP author of the bestselling A Short Introduction to Attachment and Attachment Disorder, Colby Pearce, on maintaining a balanced view when caring for children who have experienced trauma in their early lives.
This article first appeared on The Adoption Social‘s guest blog. 

I was born in January, which is the height of summer here in Adelaide, Australia. As such, I have always thought of myself as a “summer baby” and considered that this is why I enjoy the warmer months as opposed to the cooler months. I have a lifelong aversion to feeling cold and for many, many years I felt below my best during winter. I have questioned many people about this and have discovered that most people prefer either the warmer months or the cooler months. Many of them are just not happy until their preferred season returns.

About three years ago, and with the emergence of joint aches and pains during the colder months, I had the thought that it was a bit of nonsense really to consider myself a “summer baby” and defer happiness until it was warm again. I have always been a keen gardener and have a large hills garden. Looking after my garden is an act of looking after my self. Water is an issue as it is scarce and expensive, my garden is large and summer is hot (As I write this it is the fifth consecutive day of over 40C). So, I bought some rainwater tanks and now I pray for as much ‘bad’ weather as possible during the cooler months. I check the weather radar each day and feel let down if forecast wet and wintry weather blows south or north. I still have my aches and pains and look forward to the warmer months when they trouble me less, but I also look forward to cooler, wetter months now as it is a boon for my efforts to maintain a magnificent garden. And the garden? Well, with the additional water supply it has never looked better.

Strong FoundationsWhat has all this got to do with looking after children; particularly those children who experienced significant adversity in the first days, weeks, months and years of their precious lives? Well, it has to do with how we perceive them and the effects of this; both in terms of our own experience of caring for them and their experience of being cared for by us.
I am particularly interested in the idea of “self-­fulfilling ­prophecies”. In Psychology, these take the following form. I have a thought. My thought induces an emotion. My emotion activates a behavioural response. My behavioural response precipitates a reaction in others. The reaction of others often confirms my original thought.

Let’s try one. Thought: “nobody loves me”. A common feeling associated with this thought: hostility. Common behavioural responses to feelings of hostility: withdrawal and/or aggression. A common reaction to withdrawal and aggression: admonishments. An inevitable result: confirmation of the original thought.
Lets try another. He is damaged by his early experiences. I feel badly for him. I try to heal him. He keeps pushing me away. He is obviously damaged.
And, another: He is such a good artist. I am so proud of him. I support and encourage his interest in art. His skills develop and he is often affirmed for his artistic achievements. He is such a good artist!

Children who have experienced significant adversity at the beginning of their life are commonly referred to as “traumatised”. There is much literature about how early trauma impacts the developing child, including their acquisition of skills and abilities, their emotions, their relationships with others and even their brain. This literature focuses on the damage early trauma does and there is a risk that we, their caregivers, see these children as damaged.

One of my favourite allegories is the one that the author Paulo Coelho tells in his book, The Zahir. Coelho tells the story of two fire­fighters who take a break from fire fighting. One has a clean face and the other has a dirty, sooty face. As they are resting beside a stream, one of the fire­fighters washes his face. The question is posed as to which of the fire­fighters washed his face. The answer is the one whose face was clean, because he looked at the other and thought he was dirty.

The idea of the looking-­glass ­self (Cooley, 1902), whereby a person’s self-­concept is tied to their experience of how others view them, has pervaded my life and my practice since I stumbled across the concept as a university student. Empirical studies have shown that the self-­concept of children, in particular, is shaped by their experience of how others view them. In my work, this has created a tension between acknowledging the ill ­effects of early trauma and encouraging a more helpful focus among those who interact with so ­called ‘traumatised children’ in a caregiving role.

I am just as fallible as the next person, and I do not have all the answers. But as a professional who interacts with these children and their caregivers on a daily basis I strive to find a balance between acknowledging and addressing the ill­effects of early trauma and promoting a more helpful perception of these children. I strive to present opportunities to these children for them to experience themselves as good, lovable and capable; to experience me and other adults in their lives as interested in them, as caring towards them and as delighting in their company; as well as experiences that the world is a safe place where their needs are satisfied. I strive to enhance their experience of living and relating, rather than dwelling on repairing the damage that was done to them.

Most of all, I see precious little humans whose potential is still yet to be discovered. eyes

Eyes are mirrors for a child’s soul. What do children see in your eyes?

References
Coelho, P (2005), The Zahir. London. Harper Collins Cooley, C.H. (1902). Human Nature and the Social Order. New York. NY: Scribner
Publishers

Prepared for The Adoption Social by Colby Pearce (Clinical Psychologist and Author), ©2014
You can read the original blog post here.
You can keep up with Colby’s blog posts on his website, here.
You can also follow him on Twitter @colbypearce

 

The Inspiration behind ‘How Are You Feeling Today Baby Bear?’

Trauma Parenting Specialist and author of  How Are You Feeling Today Baby Bear? Jane Evans explains the inspiration behind the book.

Why I wrote How Are You Feeling Today Baby Bear?

From the time I was a little girl I have loved children’s books and, for the past 22 years since becoming a parent, step-parent and grandparent I have totally loved children! My professional life has been an extension of this love for them.

My work has regularly brought me into the lives of families living through the most difficult of times. For many this has been domestic abuse and violence, mental illness, addiction, homelessness, poverty and child abuse. It has always been a privilege to sit alongside them and to learn from them. My life has been full of ups and downs, my battles with mental illness and beyond domestic abuse and through it all, in one way or another; it has always been children who have been the light at the end of the various dark tunnels.

How Are You Feeling Today baby Bear? cover

For many, many years I have had a burning desire to write a book for children which would be of real use to them. In my work with children I have used story books to give them chances to explore, in a gentle way, how they might feel about complex issues they have no words for.  When I worked as a Parenting Worker with families affected by domestic abuse and violence, their parents and carers kept asking me for a suitable book to share with their youngest children who had seen and heard  arguing, fighting and other abuse.

Sadly, I have repeatedly been struck by how much the children I have worked with have struggled to find the words to describe their feelings. For most of them it has been like learning another language and has been a slow process of trying to make up for a vital missing part of their developmental journey. Similarly their parents have often shown and told me how they too have found this difficult both for themselves and with their children.

Never was this more evident than when I was working alongside families’ post domestic violence and abuse, especially those with very young children. “Is there a book I can read with them?”, parents and carers would ask me; I struggled to find the right one which would give a child opportunities to learn about the words for their feelings without being scared, or without being ‘told’ how they  might feel.

All illustrations by Laurence Jackson

All illustrations by Laurence Jackson

Finally the time came to put the words and images I had created in my mind, from thinking about how a very young child feels during and in the aftermath of domestic violence, down on paper! Baby Bear was ‘born’ with two Big Bears who are having a difficult relationship, which often erupts into arguing and fighting, all of which is heard and felt by Baby Bear.

My hope is that How are you feeling today Baby Bear? will help families and young children post domestic violence and abuse to put feelings into words, rather than feeling their only option  is to express these difficult emotions via their behaviour.  Happier, healthier children with a closer connection to caring adults will offer them the onward journey they so deserve.

You can find out more about Jane’s work, upcoming events and read more of her blog posts on her website: http://www.parentingposttrauma.co.uk/

You can also follow her on twitter: @janeparenting

Assessing emotional awareness after trauma

Grasso_Clinical-Exerci_978-1-84905-949-7_colourjpg-webThis extract taken from Clinical Exercises for Treating Traumatic Stress in Children and Adolescents by Damion J. Grasso gives practical guidance to assessing and enhancing a child’s emotional awareness and vocabulary prior to therapeutic exposure.
‘These skills are essential for fully engaging in the therapeutic exposure and for processing the emotional content of the trauma memory.’

Read the extract here

 

How to manage adolescent anger

Pudney-Whitehou_Adolescent-Volc_978-1-84905-218-4_colourjpg-webHelp adolescents identify the early warning signs of anger and how to express it with these practical worksheets taken from Adolescent Volcanoes by Warwick Pudney and Eliane Whitehouse.

Download the worksheets here

The book contains many more practical handouts and resources for helping adolescents and their parents to manage anger in a more positive way, including how to adjust styles of parenting and situations that may exacerbate these emotions, as well as how to tone down confrontations and improve relationships.

 

Helping people through the holidays.

In this blog post, John Wilson, bereavement counsellor and author of Supporting People through Loss and Grief, shares some thoughts on how grieving people can cope with the difficult holiday season, and how those around can try to help and support them.  

Supporting People through Loss and Grief cover

Supporting People through Loss and Grief

This Christmas will be Sophie’s first since her husband David* died in early Spring 2013. Her eyes filled with tears as she recalled a long-standing family tradition. Each year since the children were small, the family would drive to a plantation in a country park and select their Christmas tree. They would all sing along to festive music on the car stereo, and once home, would decorate the tree together.

In her grief counselling session, Sophie and I, her counsellor, were discussing how she and her three children should buy their tree this year. Should they try to continue the family ritual as if Dad was still with them, or should they do something entirely new? Sophie had talked to her children, who were certain that they wanted to continue the tradition.

At times such as this, there is no escaping the reality of a loved-one’s absence; a situation rendered even more poignant by a holiday others are celebrating. Be it a religious or secular holiday, a birthday or an anniversary, the loss of those we loved and continue to love, evokes bittersweet memories.

Of course David, husband and father, will be with his family when they choose their tree. He will be in their hearts and thoughts; more so perhaps, if they are brave enough to continue this and other rituals in his fond memory. One of the many things my bereaved clients have taught me is the power of symbolic meaning. David will be with his family symbolically. This is not at all the same as pretending that nothing has changed, because for this family, a lot will be different this holiday and on all future holidays.

Not so very long ago, it was believed that to overcome grief, the bereaved needed to relinquish the lost loved-one. “Let them go and move on”, we were told. We accept now that bonds with the deceased can continue. This does not mean clinging on vainly to the past, but it allows the life of our lost parent, child, sibling, lover or friend, to become part of our future. The lessons they taught us, the examples they set us, the values they lived by and the jokes and stories they shared, become immortal; family lore which we can choose to bequeath to each new generation.

Symbolism and ritual are valuable human activities. At festivals and holidays we will inevitably be drawn to think about those no longer with us, whether we like it or not, so let us deliberately and consciously embrace the opportunity to recall the ways in which they continue to affect our life. At the hospice where I work, and at many hospices, relatives can sponsor a light on a tree at Christmas. We call it “Light Up a Life”. The switching on ceremony is emotional, but both happy and sad thoughts are evoked, and in many cases shared. Whoever it is you have lost, there is something helpful in knowing you are not alone in your grief; a reason why collective memorial events serve to heal. You may consider lighting a candle or taking flowers to a grave or to a special place significant to your loved-one. Perhaps you might make a donation to a charity in his or her name.

Not every bereaved person has close family nearby. Childless people bereaved of a spouse often struggle when they lack the continued sense of purpose and meaning which comes to those lucky enough to have children, or even grandchildren. It is easier to maintain a sense of purpose when you have this motivation to “keep cheerful”. Bereaved spouses with no dependents have to find novel, symbolic ways to continue a bond with the partner they have lost. One of my clients would retrace the steps of a favourite moorland path she and her late husband had often walked. At holidays and anniversaries she felt that this brought them closer together. It was important to her that she walked the route alone, to give herself time for reflection. This need for solitude can be very important. For many newly grieving people, December marks the end of a sad year and the hope of a new start. Many bereaved spouses have told me that they would like to have some time on their own on Christmas Day, but that well-meaning relatives will not allow it. If you have a recently bereaved friend or family member who has asked to be alone, at least for some of the day, please try to support this wish. Remember that being alone is not the same as being lonely, and that sometimes the loneliest place to be is in a room full of happy people.

When I see my clients for the last time before New Year, generally in mid-December, I say to them ”Try to have the best time you can”, because to say, ”Enjoy yourself” would be insensitive and unhelpful. There are ways to make a difficult time of year more bearable, and I hope that here I have provided a few pointers.

*Sophie and David are pseudonyms. The real ‘Sophie’ has read this text and has given consent for her story to be told.

 

John’s book, Supporting People through Loss and Grief, will be published 21st December 2013. You can read more of his expert advice by following @JWilsonOnline on Twitter.