Tackling bereavement with children in school

With an established background in psychology and education, author John Holland has written numerous books for JKP about bereavement and loss. In this blog, John gives insight on his firsthand experience in working with bereaved children in schools – which also happens to be the core topic of his newest book Responding to Loss and Bereavement in Schools.

bereavement

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New and bestselling titles on spiritual care and chaplaincy

Browse our latest collection of new and bestselling titles in spiritual care and chaplaincy below. For more information on any of the titles, simply click on the book cover image or title to view the full book information page.

You can also download a free PDF version of this leaflet here

Request a print copy by emailing hello@jkp.com

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‘The Forgiveness Project’ book – 12 years in the making

forgivenessAuthor Marina Cantacuzino explains how a journalistic idea evolved into the charity  The Forgiveness Project; dedicated to building understanding, encouraging reflection and enabling people to reconcile with pain and move forward from trauma in their own lives. Eventually, her work with the charity led to the publication of The Forgiveness Project: Stories for a Vengeful Age – Marina explains how it came about and why she wanted to create a book from the stories she’d heard and the messages she’d learned.
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How CBT and attribution retraining can improve self belief – including a free extract

Alicia Chodkiewicz, Child Development psychologist with over ten years’ experience supporting students both inside and outside of the classroom, and co-author of Believing You Can is the First Step to Achieving, shares her insight into some of the issues and solutions surrounding self belief in students. You can also try out some free sessions from the book by downloading the extract at the end of this post.
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MOON BALLOON JOURNEYS

Moon BalloonAuthor Joan Drescher, A Journey in the Moon Balloon: When Images Speak Louder than Words, shares highlights from her home in Hingham, Massachussets after a wonderful trip to the 2015 International Hot Air Balloon Fiesta in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

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The Making of ‘Dad’s Not All There Any More – A comic about dementia’.

Alex Demetris is an illustrator, cartoonist and maker of comics. He completed an MA in Illustration in 2012, which resulted in a comic based on his family’s experience of coping with his father’s dementia: Dad’s Not All There Any More – A comic about dementia. Here he shares a little about the process of creating the comic and some of his pre-publication sketches (click to enlarge the images).
Alex also co-authored Grandma’s Box of Memories: Helping Grandma to Remember.

The idea for Dad’s Not All There Any More came to me whilst I was studying for an MA in illustration at Camberwell College of Art.  I had been making comics and drawing cartoons as a hobby for a number of years, and decided to enrol on the MA to see how good I could get by focusing on my hobby full time. Continue reading

Fight, flight or freeze; your body’s alarm system – author interview

K. L. Aspden has worked as a therapist with both children and adults since 1998. She has particular interest in the areas of trauma and anxiety, and she has experience working in both mainstream and special schools. She currently works in a school for children with emotional and behavioural difficulty, and is the author of Help! I’ve Got an Alarm Bell Going Off in My Head!: How Panic, Anxiety and Stress Affect Your Body.

1) What inspired you to write this book?
I work with some amazing children and teenagers, many of whom are frequently triggered into the fight/flight/freeze response. This can result in upsetting behaviours such as shouting, crying, hitting etc. They have no idea what is happening in their bodies and often feel too ashamed to talk about it, even when they are calmer. This is very sad. Having seen and heard what they go through, I wanted to write something to assure them that it is not their fault. I wanted to teach them about the physiology behind their feelings and show that there are things we can do to help ourselves.Aspden_Help-Ive-Got-an_978-1-84905-704-2_colourjpg-print
Above all I wanted to normalise this experience. Whilst we may not all react with the same intensity, everyone has an in-built ‘alarm bell’ (known as the amygdala) which can trigger powerful responses. An understanding of this can help anyone when they are going through periods of stress or anxiety.

2) Why did you decide to use the metaphor of an alarm bell?
I heard the panic response described as a ‘false alarm’ and decided to develop the idea. Alarms are so intrusive and distressing when they go off too frequently and at the wrong times – just like the overpowering feelings that can take over our bodies, minds and emotions when we are stressed. I wanted to communicate something of the jarring and disruptive effect of this through the alarm bell metaphor. I also thought it would be a non- threatening way to approach this tricky subject with my young clients.

3) You have worked as a therapist and at schools with children who have emotional and behavioural difficulties. What insight has that given you into how different people’s alarm bells work?
I think the alarm bell works in the same way for all of us, though it may affect us in different ways – could be trembling, feeling sick, withdrawing, tears, swearing…
For some people the alarm bell is set off more frequently because there are more triggers; this is especially true when trauma has occurred early in life or someone has high anxiety (for example, in autism). Children who have emotional/behavioural issues often live in a state of hyper-arousal – the alarm system is on red alert. In addition to this, they may lack the maturity or capacity to process their emotions which makes life even harder.
Those who have a stable background and an ability to reflect, often find it easier to learn to manage their responses. However, even the most vulnerable can benefit from being understood and supported by people who have an appreciation of the alarm system .

4) What triggers your alarm bell, and how do you take control back when you are feeling anxious or stressed?
Aspden - help i've got an alarm bell - pg 23 -imageOver the years I have carefully considered my own triggers and where they come from.
When I was a teenager life was much harder than it is now. Like many young people I wanted to be liked and didn’t understand that sometimes others can put you down to make themselves feel better. I was often bullied. This affected my confidence and I became reluctant to speak in groups, preferring not to be noticed. When put on the spot in a group setting, my internal alarm bell would ring loudly and I would experience a sense of wanting to disappear; lots of thoughts would rush round my head about how bad the situation was, and of course, this made me feel worse. There are occasions even now when I can revisit those feelings, but I am much more equipped to deal with them.
The thing that most often sets my alarm ringing these days is ‘technology’ – when my laptop goes wrong or I don’t know how to do something because everything changes so fast and it’s hard to keep up.
If this happens, I remind myself that I am having a ‘false alarm’. It is not a real emergency.
I also use two suggestions from the book that work quickly in any situation:

  • breathing more slowly
  •  doing a simple exercise like counting things to turn the thinking part of my brain back on.

In addition, I use Mindfulness in my everyday life (a discipline which helps to bring us back to the present moment), as well as a variety of creative activities. I find these tools are very soothing for the nervous system especially in times of stress or busyness.

5) Finally, what is the most important thing you would like readers to take away from your book?
I hope that an understanding of ‘the alarm system’ will help readers to feel more in control and more able to ask for help if they need it, without feeling embarrassed. I think a lot of people struggle because they don’’t know their difficulties are physiological.
Perhaps some readers will go further and become motivated to learn more about themselves. I would be especially pleased if they were to find the benefits of creativity in calming the nervous system, but that may be a subject for a whole new book.

You can find out more about the book, read reviews or order your copy here.

Personality disorder: What about recovery?

Exploring the process of recovery from personality disorder, and how this can be achieved, Heather Castillo, author of The Reality of Recovery in Personality Disorder, provides some insight about the concept of recovery in relation to personality disorder.

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Twenty years ago, personality disorder was defined as enduring and inflexible and was usually considered untreatable.   If I had moments of doubt, regarding embarking on a study of this human puzzle, they weren’t many.  The adversity experienced by those who had attracted the diagnosis was too compelling.  The assumption that professionals know best how conditions should be defined, and how services should be configured, was a similarly popular perception at that time.

My subsequent twenty-year journey concerned research with people diagnosed with personality disorder.  Driven by the ideas and needs of service users, our ensuing service developments aimed to build a new model of understanding and progress, one which could even make the old ways obsolete.  The early 2000s proved to be a fertile time for innovation when the Department of Health invested in pilot services which allowed a kind of exploratory latitude that I have not experienced before or since.  This gave us heaven-sent liberty to create a new and very different kind of service and a golden opportunity to extend our research studies.  At this time there was no agreed rationale of recovery for those diagnosed with personality disorder and few researchers had sought the views of service users regarding this.  We wished to continue to explore research methods that incorporated subjective accounts of recovery because we believed that professionals would find little guidance about what might help recovery from a medically-oriented randomized controlled trial.

The concept of recovery essentially arose in the service user movement, however, it was an idea which was soon hijacked by mainstream services becoming a clinical concept concerned with cure.  This was experienced as an unrealistic expectation and a burden to get well.  The word recovery has different meanings suggesting that conceptual clarity is necessary.  First is the traditional concept of recovery as cure which is located within an illness framework.  Second is the personal definition of recovery which has emerged from service user narratives.  These accounts emphasize the understanding of recovery as a process that can still take place in the presence of symptoms and disability.  Recovery is about finding abilities, possibilities, interests and dreams.  This was a crucial concern for our research group members and they set out to define recovery in their own terms.  They believed that the term recovery implied returning to a previous state of being, whereas members were seeking to create a new future, the future they wanted.  Standing on the firm foundations of a clearly defined concept of personal recovery, by 2004 we had established our new service.  I have long believed that, as human beings, thriving is our default setting.  Up to now this had not proven to be the case for our service users, however, the homeliness and peacefulness of the new service and the sense of hope that permeated the air had an effect on all of us.

Living too long with untenable emotions and in a state of chronic hyper-arousal, people with a personality disorder diagnosis frequently adopt dysfunctional behaviors to numb unbearable feelings and to swiftly bring their mood down to a manageable level.  Hurting the body can create temporary calm because of endorphin release.  Such behaviors include self-harm and substance misuse.  This is how people have coped and, for many, they become deeply ingrained coping strategies.  The damaging expression of pain needs containing measures, therefore, to create psychological safety at the new service these self-destructive behaviours needed to be actively challenged.  An Acceptable Behaviour Policy was created in collaboration with service users and administered by them.  If someone broke the rules laid out in this policy there were consequences, and that person would be invited to a community discussion with peers.  During the course of our research 51 (85% of participants) discussed the use of negative coping strategies and 46 (over 76% of participants) reported a dramatic reduction in their use, suggesting that the concept of boundaries had become internalized.

Initially we were engaged in developing healthy attachment in terms of safety and trust, feeling cared for, a sense of belonging, and learning acceptable boundaries.  Next we discovered that only when this was sufficiently consolidated did service users begin to learn to contain their past experiences and build necessary skills to progress.  Meaningful therapy cannot take place, no matter how desperately it is needed, if trust does not exist and if behaviour is chaotic, risky and destructive.  Healing is about integrating experience by making sense of what has happened.  Prior to this stage, reality often proved to be unbearable and making sense out of traumatic experiences and child abuse is a difficult thing to do.  This marked the long process of beginning to re-frame traumatic experience.   However, a focus on a deficit in skills, and all that has gone wrong in the past, can create a sense of hopelessness.  Therefore, the fostering of hope and the building of confidence became vitally important in activating the internal resources necessary to conceive of and pursue dreams and goals.

Supporting recovery is about helping people to build self-esteem and identity and to find valued roles in society.  This began to translate into internal changes concerning sense of self and external achievements in the various domains of social inclusion.  However, despite progress, significant fears and barriers to the concept of recovery were also highlighted in relation to risking what progress had been made.  Because the word recovery could potentially become synonymous with the idea of loss of support, it became essential to further define it in a tenable way.  As a result, the concept of Transitional Recovery was born, meaning that progress would be defined as an ongoing journey of small steps, involving the retention of new-found healthy attachment, and new structures were incorporated into the service to help build confidence with outdoor-well-being pursuits and social inclusion initiatives.

Developments which stemmed from the  unique knowledge of service users, about what would best support them and help them to progress, shows that it is possible to work effectively with a relatively large number of people with a personality disorder diagnosis, well in excess of a hundred at one time, at different stages in their journey of recovery, many of whom had not made progress in other service settings, resulting in significant financial savings to the health, social care and the criminal justice system.

Dr Heather Castillo worked for many years in Mind organisations in Essex, developing advocacy for people with mental health problems. She has worked with service users, training and supporting them to become legitimate researchers in the field of mental health. In 2004 she helped to set up, and became the Chief Executive of The Haven Project, which began as a Department of Health National Innovation Site for the support and treatment of personality disorder. In 2011 she completed a doctorate at Anglia Ruskin University, UK, about the process of recovery in personality disorder. She lives in Essex, UK.

Learn more about The Reality of Recovery in Personality Disorder